if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
