I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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