can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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