I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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