so explain again why im purple
no
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
