So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
