Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
