I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
