so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
