Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
