I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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