it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
