I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
