Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
