ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
sarcasm needs its own font
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
