I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize