tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize