gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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