Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
