Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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