yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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