Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We got so high we made milksteak
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
