We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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