How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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