and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
