I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
