Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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