i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
