well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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