At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
