so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
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stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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