You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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