You made me cry and you don't even care
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
