he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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