then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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