Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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