bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
