he thought i was a dude.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
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I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
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Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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