We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
