he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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