Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
