at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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