dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
