no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
