She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize