You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
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You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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