The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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