my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
