Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize