it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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