I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
