I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
