i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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