ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
