the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
