Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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