if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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