I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
