Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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