The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
