I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
