just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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